How to beat social anxiety

Loneliness is something that has plagued everyone at least once in their life. It’s a terrible position to be in. I’ve always pondered on why some people find it harder to make friends or socialize. Or why human relationships are harder for some than others. I’ve seen some people easily make friends in just a few minutes while I would struggle for ages and wonder why. As the usual pattern in my blog goes, lets go through a story. I’ve spoken to quite a few friends who have had similar issues and compiled a story.

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How to survive a break up

It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted here. Being pretty busy with life and work made me almost forget about this blog.. almost..

I’ve seen heaps of pages which talk about how depression set on by break ups can be handled by extroverts, and to be honest I have tried to apply it in my life but it most of it didn’t really work. So, why is it so different for an introvert? As commonly well known, introverts prefer keeping to themselves or their closely knit friend groups. They tend to be uncomfortable around groups of unfamiliar people and due to this factor they usually find it harder to meet people they like or are comfortable with. And even if someone does catch their eye, it takes a lot of effort for them to approach them. Once they do approach someone and the feeling is mutual, they open themselves up. As introverts generally keep to themselves, having someone they love,  means considering them as a part of themselves and almost every activity revolves around their partner. Funny enough it’s also because of this that introverts and extroverts make the best pair.  The extrovert acts like their window to the world and the introvert is the loyal companion who is always ready to hear and listen.  It is probably due to this reason that sometimes break ups are the most harsh on an introvert. They feel like they are left with a part of themselves missing and cannot go out to a party or socialize with friends and recharge like extroverts normally would.

 

Anyway, lets get past the boring technicalities and talk about a few stories. I’ve added a video at the end, try playing it as you read this as I was listening to it while I was writing. I feel it will help you feel what I did when I wrote this. Continue reading

The eyes are useless where the mind is blind

Monday morning. I could hear the alarm ringing. Slowly opening one eye, I peeked at the clock on my phone. I was late. It took a minute for this to sink in. I WAS LATE. I jumped out of bed and then started the daily marathon as I try to get ready for work. I bet I could beat Usain Bolt at this.

Taking a few bites of my breakfast, I rushed out. Driving to work, it wasn’t long before I got caught up in traffic. “This place is so horrible. The roads are terrible, they weren’t paved properly, and those that were had people parked on either sides. People are lazy. It’s too hot. What could possibly be good about this place?!”, I grumbled to myself. “Look at the garbage they dumped on the side of the road”. My complaining went on and on.

He was walking down the road with his father and his small sister. He couldn’t see much except for some blurry shapes and some lights. It must be some sins in his past life, the priest told his parents. His relatives sympathized his parents. “Its not like they didn’t have enough problems. They have loans to pay off. And God is further testing them with this child”, they said. His parents never said anything. It was always the same. The only person who didn’t mind his blindness was his little sister. She loved going for walks with him and their father. The best part of the walk was when she would explain everything that she sees around her to him. No one else took her seriously. No one else would listen to all the stories she had to tell, to all the wondrous things she sees around. He loved the walks even more because he could hear more about new things that he’s never known and best of all, he had someone who would talk to him openly without having every sentence drip with sympathy.

It’s been 30 minutes and I was still stuck in the same traffic jam. By now I had run out of things to complain about. Looking around for new topics, I saw three people walking on the side of the road. Two men and a small girl. They were walking away from me and I noticed the guy in the middle was being helped to walk and I immediately realized he was blind. The first thought that came to my mind was the same that would come to your’s too. “Poor guy.” “How much is he missing! He must really be so depressed and his life must be like hell”. I kept thinking of how hard it must be for him. I noticed the girl swinging her arms and explaining about how big the bus was that crossed by.As the traffic moved and I crossed them. I turned back and looked, expecting to see an unhappy face, but what I saw shocked me. He was smiling.

I couldn’t understand it. How could he be smiling? That night after getting back from work, I thought long and hard about it. It’s then that I realized the truth. And immediately all the sympathy I had for him vanished. He had nothing to be sad about. Yes true that he couldn’t see everything around him, but he had someone who described how everything looks. (If you’ve noticed, nothing is ever not exciting for a child). Ever wondered why children are always more happier than us? It’s because they only see the right while we see the wrong. Despite being the same things I’ve seen, I’m sure the world that she described was much more beautiful to him than the one I saw.

Sounds like a cliche story? Well there’s a difference. What is the lesson that is to be learnt here? Is it to stop complaining? About being thankful? Is it about how perspective matters? Or maybe about how we shouldn’t sympathize others? I bet these are the thoughts that rushed to your head when you read this. See how many things rushed into your head? What is really to be learnt here is how far we’ve fallen if we need a poor blind boy to remind us about all this.

Change begins with you

Hey you! Yes, you. Comfortable in the your little bubble? I bet you’re probably irritated about the heat, or the amount of homework given over the weekend or probably you might be irritated at your parents because they didn’t get you something you wanted- perhaps a new dress, or a new set of shoes. All your friends have got them and you need it to be as cool as the others? How could they not understand, right? Let me invite you to take a look outside your bubble like I did.

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What are memories? I don’t remember…

Memories. Remember the day you graduated from school? Remember when you first learnt to drive?  Where would we be if we could never recollect memories? Imagine we couldn’t keep memories for more than a die, picture going to bed each night writing notes about every single thing we need to remember for the next day, and to make matters, we wouldn’t even remember how to read them. Memories are one of the most important inventions of our mind. What are they actually? How do we store them? How do we remember?

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Gestalt Principles

Gestalt is a psychology term which means “unified whole”. Gestalt Principles refers to the theories used for visual perception . The principle maintains that the human eye sees objects in their entirety before perceiving their individual parts, suggesting the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Gestalt psychology tries to understand the laws of our ability to acquire and maintain stable percepts in a noisy world. These theories provide the foundation for User Experience design and Usability Concepts. This article provides an overview of the main Gestalt Principles. There are other principles like Common Region and Connectedness.

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